Courts.

Terbalik Court: It happens in the game of “terup keling” (no offence to the Indian community). It is a foursome card game with two pairs of players each. When a pair thinks that they can win the round, they declared as court tani and if it is overturn, then it is terbalik court. I remember in the 50s and 60s the Sikh community used to play this game in the middle of roundabout in Ipoh. The last time I played this game was during an outdoor outing at Tasik Bera in 1991. I was pairing with my Director, Dato Ismayuddin and we make Zakaria & partner several “rumah batu”. Now I have forgotten several rules of the game and I need refresher course

Express Court: This only applies to UMNO Members when they want to appeal a judgment. For others got to wait for the Courts are having severe backlogged with unheard cases. At 0940 they filed the appeal, at 1100 the Judge sat and at 1300 verdict given. Mind you, it is all within the same day. I have two court cases pending for about ten years and still not resolved. One was a case against my staff for embezzlement and the other someone stole my antique Mercedes. I think the first one would be a gone case because the company I was with is now swallowed by another conglomerate. What upset me most for the second case I am tied with a RM 35,000 bond with Kerajaan Malaysia?

Shariah Court: Cases only involving Muslims, normally divorce and close proximity. If it involves celebrities, Malaysians would get the news in no time even televised. Single mother claiming for alimony would take several processes to clear. Sexual cases more often than not, the cases would be referred to Civil Court.

Communist Court: A very simple court but not that express. You are caught today, trial tomorrow, verdict delivered and the next day you face the firing squad. Chapter closed. You can face the firing squad even if you wrongly mix children milk formulae.

Malaysian Court: Sensitive cases you do not need to show your face in public. They will help to cover your face from day one to the day of sentence. The public would never know your look. Nobody knows they actually hang the actual person. If you are Muslim men, you can wear the songkok or the skull cap to show the world that you are God fearing men. Muslim ladies can wear the hijab maybe the purdah. If you belong to the Opposition parties, the hearing can be quickly convened. If you tag the line or if you are somebody you never get to the court for lack of evidence and no case.

Allah Court: This one no one can escape. You got scoot free in the world but up (down) there you got to answer. All part of your body will bear witness. If your sins does not equate with your good deeds He will locate you with tremendously hot air con room. If you are God fearing fellow, do what He ask and avoid misdeed, heavenly angels would surrounds you. This sentence is the ultimate and we have the choice of heaven on earth or heaven thereafter.